Reflecting on my Breastfeeding Journey

*Before I start, I just want to state that I am in no way trying to formula shame nor am I a doctor/lactation consultant! This is just a casual reflection of my two years breastfeeding my littles and throwing in a few tidbits of advice I found helpful along the way.*

As my breastfeeding journey with my second born comes to an end, I find myself getting a little sad but also feeling a bit like a superhero for reaching both of my breastfeeding goals with my daughters. I knew I wanted to breastfeed my first but looking back I had NO IDEA what I was getting myself into and was so uneducated about the entire process. Honestly, I kind of thought it would be pretty simple - put them to your breast when they are hungry and they will eat and that's that.

WRONG. So, so wrong.

My first born latched immediately and all seemed good at the hospital, but once we were home she struggled to gain weight during her first few weeks. This was a huge stressor for me because she was already a peanut when she was born (5lb 15oz) and there she was, not getting enough nutrients from my milk. She finally started to gain weight but I was still pretty clueless and uneducated about breastfeeding. We definitely supplemented formula with her (Similac Sensitive) once or twice a day while I pumped to build up a supply for when I went back to work. THIS IS TOTALLY OKAY, YA'LL. I see so many breastfeeding mothers become so stressed out about the thought of giving their babies formula, and for what?! If you need to supplement because your baby is just not full enough, for your mental health, or if you just can't breastfeed, DO IT. As long as your baby is fed and healthy, everyone who has something negative to say can kick rocks!

After three months of maternity leave I went back to work and had a small stash (very small) built up so she could have bottles during the day. From that point forward, we actually didn't need to supplement formula anymore because I was able to pump just enough for each bottle at work. This was also around the time where I made a HUGE mistake (because I wasn't educated on this) and I took cold medicine when I was sick, which can really tank your milk supply. It was extremely stressful for me after this point because I was CONSTANTLY thinking about milk. Was I making enough? Was I going to have to pump extra that day? Would I have to thaw milk because I didn't have enough for the week? ...The list goes on. However, I was able to make it to about 10 1/2 months with my first before we started to transition her to whole milk. Aside from some diarrhea (sorry, TMI and yuck) and some terrible diaper rash this went pretty smoothly and I reached my goal. Despite how stressful it was and loosing my whole stash in the middle of the summer to a faulty freezer (I can't even talk about this, I've never cried so hard in my life) I knew for sure I wanted to breastfeed my next child and this time I would be a freaking CHAMP.

My second daughter was a completely different story. After my difficulties with my first born I knew I needed to do my research and know as much about breastfeeding as possible so that I could feed her without stress. So when she was born, despite having a little latching difficulty at the hospital, we absolutely killed it! My supply was insane, I was (again, TMI, sorry) literally squirting milk everywhere and she gained weight like a champ. I got a Spectra pump instead of Medela this time and it made a huge difference. I was able to store a ton of milk with her and we never had to supplement formula (hallelujah for my bank account). With my second, I never had to worry about not having enough milk and not pumping enough for her, and thank God for that because the transition from one to two kids was hard enough as is. That's not to say that we didn't have other issues - this baby was wayyy more attached to me and still nursed multiple times at night until she was about 11 months old. Now we are nearing the end of our journey soon and she has transitioned (not as easily) to whole milk and we only have a few bricks of frozen milk left. She still nurses once in the morning but I think that pretty soon we are going to end that completely.

I've loved breastfeeding both of my kids but it does take a toll on you mentally and physically which not a lot of people really take into consideration. My hormones have pretty much been all over the place for four straight years! I was pregnant, nursed for a year, had two months of normalcy, pregnant AGAIN, then nursed AGAIN for year. I will miss the bond with my baby but I'll be glad to get my hormones back in check again and feel like a normal person for the first time in forever.

Breastfeeding was definitely the right choice for me but it's not right for everyone! Please don't let doctors or lactation consultants make you feel like a bad mother for not breastfeeding. In the end it's your child, your body, and your mental health to take into consideration, so you do you! I loved the bond that I built with my daughters, but just because they are breastfed doesn't mean they aren't going to be little turds later in life (ha)!

If you've made it this far, I applaud you because this ended up being way longer than I intended! To any of my currently breastfeeding readers or if you plan to become pregnant and breastfeed, YOU CAN DO IT! Here are a few pieces of advice I wish I had known when I started and learned along the way:

1. READ, READ, READ!

Seriously, educated yourself! It's not difficult information to learn, just little tidbits that will help you SO much when you're doubting yourself.

2. Utilize Lactation Consultants!

There will be one at the hospital to help you right after you give birth, but if you ever have any questions once you're home (you will have a million, trust me) CALL THEM. It's their job. Don't be embarrassed. Don't think it's a stupid question. CALL THEM.

3. If possible, attend a breastfeeding class

I didn't even know these were a thing when I had my first daughter, but I know a lot of hospitals offer them for free for pregnant mothers. This would have helped me so much!

4. When in doubt, Feed!

I wish I would have done this with my first! Seriously, the boob fixes everything, no joke. And the more the baby is on your breast the greater your supply will be! Even if your baby has been at your breast ALL DAY, leave them there! It's called 'Cluster feeding' and every baby does it. You will not run out of milk, I promise.

5. Practice bottle feeding early

This isn't technically about breastfeeding, but if you intend on going back to work and give your baby a bottle the day before...that ain't gonna work! Try to offer bottles a few times a week in the weeks before you go back to work so that baby gets used to it. You might have to try a few different brands to figure out what baby likes, but trust me, it's better to do this than have your baby on a bottle strike! Both of my babies loved Dr. Brown's bottles.

6. Find the right pump

I used the Medela pump with my first born and it was fine, but with my second baby I got the Spectra free through my insurance and it was a GAME CHANGER. I honestly got twice as much milk per pumping session than I did with the Medela. Plus, it's a closed system pump which means there is no chance of milk getting inside the mechanisms (way cleaner). Check through your insurance if you can get a free breast pump! I know most insurance companies at least cover 80% of the cost. And I know Medela is a popular choice for people but I seriously 10/10 recommend Spectra instead!

If you are struggling with breastfeeding/pumping or just want some advice from a regular mom like me, PLEASE reach out to me on here or on Instagram, I would be happy to talk it out with you! I know how hard it can be but in the end it's super rewarding for both you and baby!

xo Kate